Naida Shepard and the ensuing chaos that is, Kaid
by Bexler
Summary: This is a story about Naida Shepard, she's madly in love with Thane and wants to pursue a relationship with him; but there's a catch. Her mischevious and very chaotic best friend, Kaid, has decided she'd like to spend more time with Naida... By living with her on the Normandy. How will things pan out for Naida? (Reviews welcome)
1. Chapter 1

[I decided to start a chapter series based on the Normandy after Shepard destroyed the collector base, tell me if you like it.]

"Naida... Naida! NAIDA! Dammit, Shepard, wake the fuck up!" Jack was leering over my sleeping form with an unamused look on her face.

"I don't even want to know... but I'm up, relax." Jack started pacing around the room, her obvious frustration building.

"Like hell I'll relax, get that damned cheerleader BITCH out of my quarters!"

I sighed and was sitting up now, leaning over to grab a pair of boots I'd bought while travelling to the Citadel. I wasn't one for shoes or material things but my friend Kaid had mentioned they'd look good on me once. I shook my head back into reality, focussing on the constantly swearing convict.

"Miranda? What is she doing?"

"She keeps telling me I'm a hazard to the crew, so she's ever so kindly taken it upon herself to search every item I own." Sarcasm floated through the room in Jack's rather crude but oddly natural tone of voice. I raised my hands to stop her from protesting any further.

"All right, all right. I'm dealing with it." I was already stepping out of the room, and hurrying down the hall before Jack could start a swearing fit, then I'd never get anything done. I vaguely wondered if they would ever get along but even I found myself smirking at the thought. _Miranda and Jack, getting along? That would be down right terrifying... But, at least the ship would be quiet, for once. _

"Ah, good, Shepard. I was just looking for you." Miranda had one of her hands reaching behind Jack's bed while holding papers in the other.

"Miranda, what are you doing?" The fickle woman barely glanced my way. Gods, she could be such a pain.

"Jack's dangerous, Shepard," _Oh here we go..._" she shouldn't be on board. She shouldn't be here. We're done dealing with the collectors, you should get rid of her"

"That's not your decision to make, Miranda and stop rifling through her things like a worm digging for dirt." I was getting tired of her games, I could see why Jack would call her a cheerleader, she nearly acted like one. You know, the stereotypical ones you'd often see young girls trying to impersonate.

At this point Miranda was looking me dead in the eye and even had the audacity to look a bit hurt. Miranda and I had never quite seen eye to eye but she had grown a respect for me. Shaking her head she set down Jack's things where she found them and headed up the stairs towards the tech room to rant to Tali.

I sighed and left before Jack could talk my ear off about how much of a 'bitch' Miranda was. This was going to be a long day, I could tell. "What am I going to do with them...?" I pinched the bridge of my nose as I neared the elevator.

"You know, you could always tell them to knock first before barging into your room." Thane's hot breath blew against the back of my neck, causing the hairs to rise. _Oh, and I jumped with a start, did I mention that? Ass hole_.

"Thane, you startled me." I raised my eyebrow curiously, being slightly less irritated than I was the moment before. It was his mouth, it has the perfect shape, the perfect pouty expression that makes me want to melt. _But of course that would be completely unproffessional. Still, the thought is entertaining. Dammit, Naida, focus!_

"I apologize, it was not my intention to cause you distress." He tilted his head slightly, those dark eyes of his never leaving my gaze.

"You didn't cause me any distress, Thane. Did you need something?"

He shook his head, then paused. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd come speak with me later."

I immediately became concerned, with his condition and all. "Relax, just come by later." Thane then wandered off towards Miranda's office. What was he up to?

I shook my head as I ascended up to my room, finally I can slee-

*CRASH*

"What the?" I was thrown to the ground by a red blur. Ice blue eyes stared me in the face and the person's face cracked with a smile. _Fucking Kaid_. "WHY HELLO THERE!"

"Wh..."

"Am I here? WONDERFUL question, but first thing's first. Where do I sleep? Next to you? Yes? Wonderful." I put my hand over her mouth as she continued talking before quickly pulling it away. I almost forgot, she bites.

I suppose I should explain, back when I was growing up on Earth, I wasn't the only orphan on the streets. I met Kaid there, she's a firey little red head with a big mouth who literally can't keep it shut to save her life- we've tested this. She's as big of a pain in my ass as Jack and Miranda combined, rude, impulsive, clumsy, constantly blowing things up... And I wouldn't change her for the world. Kaid's about three inches taller than me, with long red hair that reaches the middle of her back. There's a two year age difference, she's older. I met her one night while out looking for food, she was crying. It wasn't until later that I found out an explosion had killed her parents, though fortunately it was not one of her doing. We became close friends after that.

She was snapping her fingers in front of my face. "HEELLOOO? Anybody home?"

"You didn't tell me why you're here." I guess I should have warned everyone to lock the ship down. Kaid was adorable in her own right but very destructive.

"Oh, well, about that. Hm. How do I put this? I left my apartment to come live here with you! Isn't that great? I know. I thought so too. We are going to have so much fun!" She was giving me a mischevious, alluring look, letting her gaze slowly move down my body on purpose. We've always had a flirty friendship, but that's all it was.

_Of course she would do this. Why wouldn't she? This doesn't SCREAM Kaid at all. No... Not at all_.

_She's been here for no more than two minutes but she's already rearranging my room and giving me a head ache. It's a love hate, relationship, you wouldn't understand._

"KAID!"

"Yes, m'love?"

"Can you focus, for one second?"

"Okay... One's up. La la la la la!"

I shook my head as she continued moving things around. _I am sooooooo fucked._

"Are you hungry?"

"Well..." AHA! That got her attention.

"Come on..." I smiled. "They've got cheese cake."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! Why didn't you tell me this sooner woman!? Let's go."

I barely had time to blink before she dragged me to the elevator- at least she didn't drag me through the ventilation ducts this time. _Best friends, aren't they great?_

I quickly ran to Sergeant Gardner and ordered our food. I had a simple soup, no meat. Kaid was devouring an entire cheese cake... _Where does she put it all? At least her mouth's full._

I looked up to see most of the crew staring at her like she was a bizarre new animal they'd never seen.

"Everyone, this is Kaid. She is to be shown the utmost respect."

"What is her rank?"

"She doesn't need one."

"Figures." I recognized him, he was young, a newer member to the Normandy. I didn't pay much attention to anyone that didn't speak with me but I made it my business to at least know everyone by name. He was no different.

I pulled my gun and placed it against the man's skull. "If you have a problem with Kaid, you have a problem with me. Do you have a problem with me, Jackson?"

Everyone in the room was watching me in horror now, rather than Kaid who was ever so graciously licking her plate clean and making loud nomming noises.

I'm not violent, but no one. And I mean no one insults Kaid. Ever.

Actually, I was wrong- everyone except Thane, who had casually leaned against one of the walls, was mortifyed. _Ugh, assassins, nothing excites them, does it?_

I swear Jackson nearly pissed himself as he stumbled over his words. "No! No Ma'am, no problem. I'm sorry!"

"Oh come on Naida, leave the poor man alone." Garrus had walked in to see the commotion, or lack of it I should say. The caf was usually fairly noisy, then again me putting a gun to someone's head was a rare sight- no wonder everyone was staring. There was no lack of amusement on Garrus's face, though.

Kaid, being overjoyed to see Garrus, immediately jumped on the turian. "Kitty!"

"I really wish you'd stop calling me that."

"No! You look like a kitty to me, so you're Kitty."

I smirked, and was putting my gun away as everyone had involuntarily started laughing. If turians could blush, I'm sure he'd be beet red right now.

"Garrus, could you show her around the ship? I have something I need to do." He reluctantly nodded, trying to gently pry the woman off of him.

"Good luck Garrus. You'll need it." He sighed loudly, he knew it would come back to haunt him.

I went towards the elevator before stopping. I might as well go see Thane now, while Kaid's busy torturing Garrus. I entered quietly, and hid a smile as I walked in. He was sitting in his chair, leaning forward slightly with his hands folded. Eyes closed. He looks so peaceful, I shouldn't disturb him. Turning to leave he looked up at me. _Damn those eyes! _

I froze, hyptnotized by his over powering gaze, waiting for him to speak.

"Your friend Kaid seems... Interesting."

"You have no idea."

"You are close, you and her?"

"Yes, very."

He paused, it was eery.

"Thane, I... Is something wrong? I mean, did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just didn't think you and her were..."

He didn't finish his sentence. _Does he think...? No... He wouldn't. Fuck, he does._

"Wait wait wait, whoa... Kaid and I are just friends. Nothing more. Well... Actually there was that one time at her place... But, where was I?" He was standing infront of me now, I stopped talking. I always talk too much when I get nervous.

"Naida... Are you well?" His scaled hand pressed against my forehead, it was cool to the touch, it felt nice. "You feel warm." _Oh ghee, well you know, I'm in a cramped room with a sexy drell assassin. Why would I POSSIBLY be warm?_ I laughed, shaking my nerves.

"I'm fine, really. I was actually wondering why you wanted me to come here."

My heart stopped dead in my chest, was he smiling? My gods, he was smiling. _Score one for Shepard!_

"Come, sit."

I nodded slowly, placing myself in the chair infront of him.

"You're intriguing."

_Me? Intriguing? Great... The hot ones are always crazy._

"How so?" I asked, a look of disbelief on my face.

"You're gentle, kind, calm, collected. And yet you're fierce, hard, energentic, and absentminded. You are an enigma. I know so much about you, and yet so little. You never stop amazing me."

My face turned red slowly, blushing.

"Is that a bad thing? That I confuse you so much, I mean."

"No, I'm glad to have you as a friend, Naida. You're unique."

My heart sank a little, and I nodded. "Just a friend, I see. I'm going to go."

He looked puzzled, worried, his mind working out what I had just said. "I have never considered. I mean, I never thought you were interested in someone like me. It is... an intriguing thought." I stopped for a moment and smiled at him before leaving the room.

I took a deep breath, my legs felt like they were going to buckle. _Pull yourself together girl! You need to stay focussed_. I shook it off, I guess being in complete shock doesn't help.

**"Uhh, commander, there are loud noises coming from your room, EDI can't access that area, the privacy screen's been activated. And seeing as you're not in it I can safely assume it's not you... Just thought you should know."**

Joker's voice sounded through the ship's intercom. I sighed. _Kaid... Always Kaid_. It was nearly five minutes before I reached my room when I walked in to see Kaid throwing her stuff out of her suitcases. They looked heavy enough to crush someone with. Come to think of it, she probably had.

"Kaid, my dear."

"Yes my love?" She had a huge grin on her face, I suspect because she loved the expression on mine.

"Please, stop destroying my room."

"But it's so small, it will never fit all of my clothes, this will just not do."

"There's a spare room on the ship, it's spacious, and sturdy. So you don't blow us up, or over run us with your clothes."

"So, I can stay?"

"Of course"

Kaid smiled warmly, and hugged me gently. I hugged her back and smiled a little. Things will certainly be more interesting with her around.


	2. Chapter 2

*poke* _uhhh..._ *poke* _What...? _*poke*

"Kaid..."

"Yeaaaasss?"

"Stop it."

"Kay." She smiled really big as she removed her hand from my face. I shook my head as I swung my feet off my cot.

"Remind me... To lock my door before going to bed."

"Oh, you did."

"..." _Of course..._

"Well, it was a simple thing, just hacking into the ship's mainframe and disabling the lock to your quarter's specifically without alerting EDI or the ship's security systems."

"Kaid."

"Yes?"

"You're adorable."

"Tehe."

I found myself wandering the ship more than usual that day, had a quick talk with Mordin, visted Dr. Chakwas, even spent a good twenty minutes trying to pry myself away from Joker and EDI while they made jokes at each other. Kaid and I toured the ship, even though it had been more than a week since she'd arrived I was more than certain she'd taken a look at the layout when she was hacking the security lock to my room. Fortunately, there was only one minor misshap when Kaid had decided to make a bomb out of a deck of playing cards, where she found them? I have no idea, but I hope she doesn't find any ever again.

A few hours went by and it was just past noon. I could hear a commotion coming from Garrus's post.

"Let me touch them."

"No."

"YES."

"I swear, Kaid. I'll end you."

"Just let me touch them!"

"Ugh, NO!"

I peered around the corner, nervous of what I might find.

"What, are you two doing?"

"Naida! Kitty won't let me touch his mandables!" Kaid whined in a child like voice. _She's your best friend, that's why you love her. She's your best friend, that's why you love her..._ I stared, silently reminding myself why I put up with Kaid's behaviour.

"Kaid..." I sighed impatiently. "Please don't do that."

"But, they're so shiny." Her eyes widened as she inched her face towards his, staring but not touching.

"Kaid. No."

"But, but, but..." I pulled a pair of keys from my pocket and dangled them in the air, making a 'jingling' noise. "Ooo, shiny." With Kaid momentarilly distracted, Garrus quickly maneuvered himself out of the corner he was wedged in. I assume Kaid had pushed him there. _She is such a brat... _

"Kaid, Gardner has cheesecake in the messhall again."

*Crash, Bang*

Kaid ran past me, nearly tripping over several other people as she ran down the hall towards the caf. It wasn't until she reached it that I could hear Gardner cursing my name, rather loudly, in frustration and shock. _He'll be finnnneee... I think._

I started chuckling as Garrus regained his composure. Until I started laughing, that is.

"Shut up."

"No."

"Come on, Shepard, I can't get anything done with her around."

"It is a little amusing though," I put a half serious look on my face. "So what started this?"

"That little brat came running in here, calling me 'Kitty'" He shivered irritably "And started demanding she help me do the ship's calibrations. When I refused she immediatly turned her attention to my face."

"She just likes your company, Garrus."

"She's going to give me an... What do your kind call it? An anurism."

"Oh she is not, just be a little stern with her." He gave me a look that said 'Yeah, right". I honestly don't blame him. Kaid was bubbly and energetic ninety-nine percent of the time, but the second you refused her something that she wanted bad enough she'd try to kill you.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll talk to her."

"THANK-YOU."

Shaking my head, I turned and walked out, carefully avoiding the huge mess Kaid had left strewn across the floor leading to the kitchen where I could clearly hear her argueing with Gardner about refusing to serve her alcohol at two PM in the afternoon. _I have got to find what type of sugar pills she takes... The energy would be useful. _

I lifted my head in the air and smelled something sweet. Like chocolate, which I hadn't had since I was last on Earth. I followed the scent slowly, deliberately walking non-chalantly down the hallway. The smell was coming from... The life support room? _Since when do Drell like chocolate? _

Rounding the corner I leaned into his room- it was empty. I entered cautiously as I peered around the cramped space.

"Thane?"

Nothing. I was a bit confused as Thane rarely left his room. _... Where is he? _

"Naida." _Oh for fuck sake!_

"Holy shit!" I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to find Thane, with a rather amused look on his face- _Bastard_, staring at me. I was amazed at how he could look so innocent but still look so deadly.

"Are you all right?"

I shook my head and wagged my finger at him. "You have GOT to stop doing that, one of these days you'll give me a heart attack."

He chuckled melodically. "I apologise."

"Uh huh. So uh..." My mind turned back to focus on the hot chocolate. "Drell like chocolate?"

"Some of us, yes. I actually made it for you."

"You don't like chocolate?"

"Not really."

I gasped BLASPHEMY! "Why not!?"

He smiled and grabbed my hand, leading me to the table before leaning up to my ear.

"Because, no matter how sweet the flower, how decadent the candy, or how beautiful the tapestry. They all pale in comparison to your beauty."

I nearly fainted right then and there, trying to catch my breath as my heart thudded wildly in my chest. My face turned twlelve shades of red as I stammered.

"I uh... Um..." I grabbed the hot chocolate and downed it quickly, hiding my face in the cup.

"It's not often I see you speachless, did I say something wrong?"

"Are you kidding?" I magically regained my ability to speak. "You said nothing wrong. I just, what spurred it on?"

"You did."

_Obviously... _"Well, yeah, but I mean what did I do to deserve a complement like that?"

"You're yourself."

_Okay, I'm being punked, right? _

I chewed my lip, trying to reword the question. "What made you compelled to start speaking to me in this manner?"

He started pacing around the room, seeming to grasp at the words.

"The other day when you and I last spoke, you implied that you wanted to be more than friends. It made me realize just how much I've been wanting you. I can't hold back my thoughts any longer, Naida. Forgive me if I'm out of line, but I have not felt this way since Irika."

I paused, remembering him telling me about his wife.

"Thane, I care about you very much. But... What are we going to do? I mean, I don't mind that you're a Drell. But I don't want you to be embarrassed by me."

He rested his hand on my cheek slowly, "Siha, I could never be embarrassed by you." His gaze was so intense, his voice so protective and sincere. I was weak with anticipation, looking deep into his eyes as he leaned in slowly to kiss me...

"NAIDA!" The life support room door flew open. Kaid stood there, staring at Thane and I, we were inches away from each other's face.

_Oh for the love of! WHYYY!?_

"Kaid... I'm busy." I made an obvious head gesture towards Thane, who was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I can see that. Don't mind me, I'll wait."

_Grreaaaatttt..._

She dropped herself down onto the floor, cross legged with her hands resting on her face as she continued watching us. I sighed, giving Thane an apologetic look before turning to Kaid.

"Can you give us, five minutes?"

"Sure."

"Alone?"

"OH! Kay." She giggled.

I shook my head as she walked out, knowing she'd be leaning against the wall trying to hear us. I tilted my head, a bit confused now.

"You called me, Siha?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I don't know the meaning."

He smiled, grabbing my hands firmly in his before bowing and pressing them to his lips.

"Another time, Siha. I promise."_ DAMN YOU!_

I wanted to pursue the conversation further but I could hear Kaid causing a scene outside. I shook my head and turned.

"I better go control her before she destroys the ship."

"I don't know where you get the energy." He chuckled.

"I don't know where SHE gets the energy." I deadpanned before going past the doors.

Garrus was on the floor in the hallway, swearing loudly. _She has to be in that mess somewhere... Ah! There she is._ Kaid was sitting behind Garrus's head, pulling on his mandables as she used her biotic powers to keep him pinned on the floor.

"KAID!"

"Oh Naida, look! Shiny."

I sighed, and pushed her off of him with a burst of energy. Not enough to hurt her, she flew back and slid on her ass a few feet before stopping to look up at me. I was helping Garrus up at this point.

"No fair! You always had more power than me."

"I also spent hours and hour practicing."

Kaid was already off the ground and skipping in circles around us.

"I know, but practice is soooo boring."

"Are you all right, Garrus?"

He was glaring after the skipping woman, rubbing his face.

"I swear, I'll kill her."

"No you won't."

He sighed, "I know." He paused. "Naida... Thanks." I nodded as he walked away without another word.

I grabbed Kaid's arm and started dragging her to her room. And as expected, she slumped to the floor and went limp. Making it ten times more difficult than it had to be. _Sigh... Kaid!_ I wasn't mad at her, she knew that. In fact, I was trying my hardest not to laugh as I pulled her beside her couch.

"Okay, spill it. What's gotten into you?"

She was up in what seemed like a nano second.

"I've tried everything. I don't know what to do anymore."

_What the hell?_

Kaid continued talking to herself as if I wasn't there.

"What are you talking about?"

"Garrus!" I stopped, watching her intently now. She never called him Garrus. Hell, we were in the middle of a fight against a bunch of Geth and she STILL called him Kitty. This is serious.

"Are, you okay?"

"... I like him Naida." _Oh shi-_

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, he's just so... Cute and awkward. But he's always so mad at me" _Well, maybe if you'd quit going after his face..._

"I didn't know you felt that way."

She paused... "YOU!"

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You, talk to him. Find out how he feels about me. Please!? I need to know."

"I... Kaid, is this a good idea?"

"Come on... Please?" Her nose was pressed against mine.

"Fine, but in a few days first. Give him time to cool down, and PLEASE stay out of trouble."

"You're the best."_ Duh._

"I'm going to go to bed now, and I plan on sleeping in." I gave her 'the' look. 'The' look was a look I used that said if she tried something I'd string her up by her feet from the rafters and leave her there, in a loving way of course.

I left Kaid in her room, staring at her gold fish that I bought her while travelling. _Maybe I'll sleep tonight._

Yawning, I stripped off my clothes and curled up under my covers as soon as I hit my bed. I was so tired I didn't notice the shadow standing in the corner of my room and was asleep before I hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke with a start, hearing light breathing from the opposite side of the room. I moved quickly, grabbing my pistol on my nightstand and pointing at the intruder. Before I could pull the trigger I was grabbed by my wrist and my pistol was expertly knocked from my grip as a strong hand pressed firmly over my mouth.

"Shh... Be calm, Siha." _What was that about telling people to knock first?_

I relaxed a little, looking over his dimly lit features from my lamp across the room. I always liked a little light, I mean- who likes tripping in the dark trying to find the bathroom? _I'm not scared of the dark... That's my story and I'm sticking to it!_

He smiled warmly, pulling his hand away from my mouth as he gently and dominantly pulled my other wrist over my head, holding them there in his vice like grip. I bit my lip, and smiled innocently. Thane slowly meneuvered himself on top of me.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I said casually.

"I needed to see you... Without Kaid around." I couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Okay, you got me there. Thane...?"

"Hmm?" He was looking deep into my eyes, sending chills through my almost naked body. If it wasn't for my undershirt and panties I would be.

"I... Think I... I mean I hope you don't think I'm silly but... Um..." I clammed up, my face turning a deep red as I averted his gaze.

Without a word his mouth clashed into mine, urgently kissing me with passion and force I've never felt before. Closing my eyes, I let my mind drift away from the stresses of being a commander, the burdens of my memories; the only thing in the universe was me and the man I love. He pulled his head away and breathed into my ear "I do too." My heart thudded wildly as he started kissing down my neck, still holding my wrists with one hand as the other gripped my throat gently. I caught my breath and squirmed impatiently under him. "Let go..." I whined.

"Beg for it." He commanded cooly as he stopped nibbling at my flesh and stared me down. I hesitated, and then smiled. "No." His grip tightened a little, bringing his face closer to mine, his lips milimeters away from my own, this time, he whispered it. "Beg. For. It." I shivered, "Please. Please Thane." He said nothing, I squirmed more now. "Please, I want... I need you. I need you right now." And with that he released my wrists, putting his arms under me and lifted my shirt away from my body in one fluid movement. I stood, pushing him against the wall, pulling at his own shirt. I was grabbing for his belt when he spinned us around and pinned me tightly against the wall with his taught body, locking his lips with mine in yet another passionate kiss.

"Stop... Teasing... Me..." I said between breaths.

He only smiled in response as he lifted me, my ankles locking behind his back, his mouth moving towards my chest.

*Swoosh*

_Oh Gods, please no._

"N-Naida... -Hic- I think... I had too much to... What are you doing to my woman!?" Kaid staggered drunkenly into the room, plopping herself down onto the bed, watching me and Thane with wide eyes.

_... I might actually KILL my best friend!_

_"_Kaid! WHAT THE HELL?" I stepped away from Thane, not bothering to cover myself as I walked over and began scolding her, loudly. _They're tits, it's not like she doesn't have any of her own for fuck sake!_

"Naida, will you read me -hic- a story?"

_Um... No._

"It's 3 AM!"

"But... I love you... And so does he..." She smiled, pointing at Thane, who was shamelessly standing there with his shirt off, leaning against the wall as if it wasn't a big deal, he even looked a little proud. _Mmm... That smug hussy! He's a sexy smug hussy though..._ I chastised him mockingly in my mind before turning my attention back to Kaid.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" I wasn't even angry, truth be told. I can't be mad at her, I gave her a half serious look; but I was still frustrated.

"Naida..." She looked at me with sad eyes, looking at the ground, and then back up at me. I growled, and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You are lucky I love you." I shook my frustration and smiled a little.

She smiled really big in return, then laid back on my pillows, falling asleep. _And... Now I get to sleep on the couch... Lovely._

I coughed, embarassed more so now then I was a few minutes ago. I reached for my shirt, but my hand was gently grabbed by my sneaky lover and pulled against his chest. "You don't have to cover yourself or be embarassed around me, Siha. You're perfect." I looked up at him, about to open my mouth to apologize but he just shook his head kindly, gently caressing my face before lifting my chin to kiss me tenderly. "It's all right." He assured me before pulling me into his embrace. "Goodnight, Siha." He kissed my forehead and put me on my couch, tucking me in with my spare blanket before gathering his shirt and walking out.

When I woke, Kaid wasn't on my bed. _Oh dear Gods. She's loose!_

I jumped out of the covers and quickly made myself decent. I hate five minute showers but this was an emergency. I walked down the hall and ran into Miranda.

"Have you seen Kaid?"

"Not since her huge scene last night, no."

_Huge scene? I'm sure I'll hear about it later. Sigh..._

"Do you know where she'd be?"

"Like I'd know, Shepard."

_Ghee Miranda, that was soooo helpful. Bitch._

"Thanks anyway..." I sighed and continued searching. Of course, it NEVER occured to me to check her room. And what a scene it was. I walked in to find the silly girl sprawled out, limbs spread, naked, on the floor. A laugh caught in my throat _Well... I guess we're almost even now._ I covered her in her favourite blanket gently and left without disturbing her.

I guess going to talk to Garrus couldn't hurt... much. I made my way to his post, he was deep in thought. Didn't even notice me walk up behind him.

"Boo!" I poked his side, and he jumped.

"Naida... Please tell me you came over here to do something other than give me a heart attack."

"If I said no, would you love me any less?" I smiled innocently and he sighed, nudging my shoulder playfully.

"Of course not."

"Garrus, we've been close friends for years, yes?"

"Did this magically just become common knowledge for you?"

"Shut up. So, let's talk about Kaid."

"Why...?" He suspiciously tilted his head.

"I don't know... What do you think of her?"

"She's a pain in the ass."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"So, what do you actually think about her?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Shepard." He sounded a bit snappy.

"Well, who shat in your turian flakes this morning?"

"Har har, you're hilarious." He was sarcastic now, but lightening up.

"I thought so, think I should start my own comedy show?" He laughed a little. "Just don't quit your day job if you do."

"So, KAID! She's great isn't she?" He pushed me over, trying to avoid the subject. In return, I jumped on him.

"Not you too!" He wailed like a baby as I grabbed his mandables with one hand.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me!" *tug*

"Ow! No!" *Tug tug* _Turians can grow this shit back, right? Oh well._

"Okay! Okay!, I... think she's wonderful." I smiled and let him go, he continued as he rubbed his face. "In a weird, ferocious, destructive way." I rolled my eyes slightly, but smiled.

"So, go tell her that."

"She'll kill me."

_Not if you ravage her all night long..._

"She will not. I really think you should, she's really upset you know. She thinks you're angry with her."

"She does? I... Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to her later. I shouldn't have gotten angry with her. Kaid is who she is, I wouldn't change her for a world."

_What about for two worlds?_

"Thank you, Kitty." He swatted at me without hesitation and I dodged it with ease, laughing audibly and skipping away before he could try it again.

_** Edi: Commander, a nearby planet is under attack. They request immediate emergency assistance.**_

_I can't catch a break, can I?_

"Get Garrus, Jack, and Thane and tell them to meet me in the shuttle."

_**Understood.**_

I ran quickly, checking my guns as I went. I was just stepping out of the elevator and turning to go down the hall when Kaid grabbed my arm from behind. She was wearing a red cocktail dress and heels, she stood straight as she promptly announced "I! Am going with you."

"You... Have GOT to be kidding."

"Let's go kick some ass." She said as she skipped towards the shuttle, singing loudly and off-key 'La la la la la!'.

_And here I thought **I** was insane._

Thane and Jack were already loaded on, Jack just stared at Kaid. "I know. Don't." I shook my head as Kaid sat herself down right next to me, pressing herself firmly against me even though the rest of the bench was completely fucking empty. I sighed and smiled, patting her head.

"Kitty!" Kaid giggled as Garrus ducked his head in and the shuttle was launched from the ship. Kaid, at this point had pulled a sniper rifle from Gods knows where and was checking it over expertly. "Garrus, doesn't Kaid look nice?" I smiled evilly as he gave me a dirty look. "Yes... She's beautiful." He begrudgingly grumbled. I smiled as Kaid nudged me approvingly.

We were two minutes from our destination before Kaid decided to just sprinkle a fuck load of EMBARASSMENT all over me. _I always LOVE smelling like awkward just before killing people... Really.  
_

"What?" It was Thane that spoke, Kaid was staring at him intently.

"You know what you did." She pretended to be mad at him.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." He looked over to me, his face had little expression but his eyes were smiling at me.

"Yes you do... You know, she has a GREAT ass, don't you think?" I gave Kaid a warning glance and pushed her gently.

She just smiled and looked at me before cooing "Naida and Thane, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G..." I smacked her over the head promptly and averted my gaze from them to hide my red face. They were all staring at me at this point, Garrus was even trying not to laugh. _I could shoot her... I probably should... But that would ruin her dress, and then she'd come back from the afterlife and haunt me forever... I just can't win!_ I was hitting my head against the cold metal as we landed.

I regained my composure and made sure my pistol was loaded, nodding to Thane and the others before moving to open the door. "Be careful, stay together, and don't do anything rash." I opened it, and the sun poured in, we moved quickly onto the planet's surface; guns ready, running forward, Kaid charged a few feet ahead of me. I shook my head and trudged forward. _Another long day, just for me..._ A commander's work is never done.


	4. Chapter 4

The nearby sun was beating down on me as I wiped my brow.

"Kaid! Don't run off."

"What? Run off? Kay!"

_One of these days Alice..._

"No! I swea-... Forget it..." I sighed loudly and motioned for Garrus to follow her. He nodded and moved ahead of Jack, Thane, and me. We ran for a few minutes before coming to the distress signal. A small colony of people was under siege. I could hear the screams of people as they ran in all directions. A quick survey of the scene showed Garrus was up ahead; he had propped himself up behind a building. I wasn't entirely sure where Kaid had gone and that worried me a bit, truth be told.

"Jack, go around and try to flank the main group, Thane, help Garrus snipe and keep and eye on Kaid." They nodded and went off to do what I had told them.

_I do love being in charge sometimes._

Moving forward I drew my pistol and walked cautiously ahead. Shots were fired in my direction and I fired right back at the man, he appeared to be part of a gang of marauders. "Big mistake..." I fired my weapon twice, once hitting his weapon and then his thigh. I walked up to him and dragged him behind cover, before pressing the cold barrel of my pistol between his eyes.

"Please don't kill me."

"Shut up. Why are you here?"

"I can't tell you." I stepped on his bullet wound and ground the heel of my boot into it.

"WHY are YOU here!?" My patience was growing thin.

"We, we saw the planet, and we needed supplies."

"So you just thought you'd take," *grind grind* He was howling in agony, "what you want from these poor people. Right?"

"Ahhhgg! STOP, please!"

"RIGHT!?"

"Yes. We're sorry."

_Yeah right..._

"I hate people like you... Disgusting little creatures." I kicked him square in the face and knocked him out cold before turning to find Kaid propped up against a building a few feet away from me.

"Oh, Naida, you're so sexy when you're angry." She smiled and winked at me.

_I'm not even going to bother..._

I tried not to laugh, and went back to focussing on the world in front of me. Jack had two people pinned against the wall, it looked like she was being even more cruel than I was. I don't envy them. I decided to go around and help any survivors. Kaid followed behind me.

"Seeeewwwww..."

"No."

"But..."

"No."

"Naida...!" Kaid whined.

_Oh, my Gods... _"What!?"

"Hi." She giggled and skipped ahead.

_... Best friend... It's why you love her... It's why you love her..._

I chanted in my mind and smiled at her as I ran ahead of her and laughed while she and I raced each other. Until Kaid hit a wall...

"Ow..."

I was laughing hysterically, and so were several survivors who were just up the hill to our right.

"Are... You okay?" I said between my fits of laughter.

"Did you see that wall? It came out of NOWHERE!" She brushed off her pain with humour like she always did and I just shook my head as I helped her up.

"Okay, can you watch my six while I get them to safety?"

"BUT THEY LAUGHED AT ME!" She pointed at the humans hiding up the hill. I promptly poked her in the forhead and turned the other way. She did as she was told.

The people were half way up the hill when I heard Kaid scream in pain. I looked back and saw her holding her side.

"Kaid!" I started running back to her when I abruptly was stopped,

"YOU BASTARD! You ruined my dress!" With her side still held she was beating the man who I assumed had shot her in the head with the back of her sniper until all I could see was his blood where his head should have been.

_... Poor guy. Didn't even know what hit him._

"Kaid! Come here." She skipped in my direction- well, kind of. She was hobbling a bit and was still bleeding. It didn't look bad, and I knew she was tough when she needed to be.

"Naida, I need a new dress."

"Stop worrying about the stupid dress." She gasped at 'stupid' but resigned herself and continued fiddling with the frayed material that was now pretty much soaked in blood. Most of it seemed to be from the dead man who took a beating to the face.

"Get them to safety, I don't want you fighting while you're injured. You don't think when you're angry."

"I do so! I want to fight." I grabbed her jaw and pulled her face close to mine.

"Do as I say. Do you have any idea how upset I'd be if you died? I'd need to find a new idiot to harass me in the wee hours of the morning! Now go." My voice was stone cold, and protective. I was dead serious, and she knew it. Nobody hurts my Kaid.

_I'm going to kill every single one of the useless pathetic bastards..._

She could see the rage in my eyes, and just nodded as if to say 'Be careful' and went up the hill.

I had a bad feeling about today.

I thought I'd seen Thane for a moment, running around the corner of a building but when I went to follow- he wasn't there. I DID see Garrus, however.

"Where's Thane?"

"No idea he seperated from me when we heard a scream." I nodded, that must have been when Kaid had been shot.

"Yeah, Kaid was hit."

"What?" He had turned to look at me and was completely ignoring the bullets flying our way. I raised my gun and fired back.

"She's fine, squished the guy's head off. She's more angry about her dress than anything." He started laughing.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" I snapped bitterly at him, but he kept giggling.

"Her... Her dress... She... Gets shot... And she's worried... About her dress." He said between fits of laughter. I smiled a bit, it was so like Kaid to do that, and even more like Garrus to react like this when he was relieved. I knew he was glad she was okay.

"She's helping survivors out, go help her." He didn't hesitate. I was alone then, I'm sure Thane was covering Jack- not that the woman needed it.

I'd shot at least four other men- right between the eyes when I heard rustling behind me. I ignored it, assuming it was Thane and continued forward. The only one left to find was the leader of this band of now very very stone cold dead men.

*Thud*

I hit the ground. I wasn't entirely sure what had happened until I heard Thane snarl in a fit of rage. I caught glimpses of Thane, whispering into the man's ear- who I now realized had burried a knife in my back, and tying him up slowly. He looked terrified. Thane's face looked calm, but his eyes were enraged. Glowing with hatred.

I went to speak and silently screamed, taking breaths felt like hot fire ripping through my body, tearing me apart. He had burried the knife in my right lung, through my ribs.

_Kaid is going to kill someone when she finds out..._

My vision began blurring and I fought to keep concious as I rolled onto my stomach and crawled toward Thane. He was now slowly cutting along the man's body. I couldn't hear anything anymore. I watched his mouth carefully, the ringing in my ears growing louder. I made out, "Siha" as he slit the man's throat and let his blood spray him before taking two steps toward me. My head hit the ground and I let the darkness consume me.

I opened my eyes slowly, the pain in my lung was horrible, but it was bearable. I felt a head resting on my lap- it was Kaid. I guess she had fallen asleep on me when they were done fixing me up. Or she just wouldn't let go regardless. I sighed and petted her hair.

"So you're awake." Garrus had walked into the room.

"Where's Thane?" My throat was dry.

"He'll be back. They haven't left your side this entire time."

_Oh gee, but you have? Lovely._

He sighed and shook his head, "You know I have calibrations that need doing, don't be like that." He read my mind.

I just half smiled at him and sat up- grunting loudly enough to wake Kaid.

"YOU IDIOT!" She pulled me into a tight hug and shook violently as she cried. I tolerated the pain, and hugged her back. She was right, I had been foolish. "I'm sorry." I whispered into her hair and squeezed her even tighter. "I'm so sorry."

She held on to me for what seemed like an eternity, when she let go Thane was standing in the doorway. Kaid just looked at him, then at me and grabbed Garrus' arm. "Come on, Garrus." She said quietly, and put her hand on Thane's shoulder reassuringly before they walked out of the room.

"Thane, I..." I stopped, I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. They were like daggers that bore into my soul. He was furious.

"... What were you thinking?" His voice was calm, barely.

"I... Don't know. I guess I was overjoyed to see Garrus worried about Kaid- it was cute. I wanted him to be near her and I wasn't thinking..."

He cupped my chin and made me look him in the eyes. "You're right, you weren't thinking. Why do you do that? You need to think of yourself in situations like that!" He stopped himself, looking away. "What if I hadn't of gotten there when I did? What if you..." He couldn't finish. The very thought made him visably sick to his stomach.

I looked away. "It's okay, really. I'm fine."

He squeezed my hand, hard. "You idiot. If I had lost you, I don't know what I'd do. You know that? And what about Kaid?"

"I'm not sure what you want me to say, Thane. I'm sorry I was careless." My apology was sincere. Still, he was beyond angry.

There was a long silence, and my lung began to itch. I could feel a tickle building in the back of my throat but fought it off.

"Did the people make it out alright?" I tried to change the subject, he didn't speak. He just gently pulled me into his chest and held me. I wrapped my arms around him and held back from coughing. The pain in my lung was growing slowly and I pushed him back a little as I coughed violently. Spraying blood onto his lap and onto the white sheets that rested over my thighs. He sighed and gently pushed me back down, pulled the covers over my body and kissed my forehead. I barely remember closing my eyes and falling asleep. It just didn't occur to me how exhausted I was.


	5. Chapter 5

I sat up from my bed slowly, rubbing my eyes as I yawned. As I turned my feet off the bed I heard a loud giggle, some swearing and a "Good MORNING my love!" As Kaid pranced into the room with very burnt veggies and eggs on a plate.

_There is no way in hell that is edible..._

"What... is this?"

"I made you breakfast!" Her smile reached her ears.

"I see that... I'm not hungry." She grabbed the collar of my shirt and went into histerics.

"Eat it, damn you!"

"No."

"EAT!"

"You can't make me."

"YES I CAN."

"Then do it."

"... Thane!" She whined, "Naida won't eat her veggies!"

Thane was sleeping in a chair on the other side of the room, until Kaid called him that is- he shook his head and took one glance at the plate before looking at me.

"Don't eat it, we need you well."

I laughed a little, and Kaid turned her angry attention to Thane.

"Are you insulting my cooking!?"

"Yes."

She gasped, obviously offended, or at least she did a good job at pretending to be.

"You... YOU MEANIE!"

She stormed off. _Did she just call Thane a ... Meanie? Sigh..._ I sighed and swung my feet off the bed slowly, Garrus was next to me and helped me balance. It had been just over a week since the incident. The wound was almost healed on the outside, the inside however was still a bit damaged. Kaid healed over night, or so it seemed. She never lost the bounce to her step. I shook my head, I was a bit envious. I had my balance now and started down the elevator to get to the mess hall; Thane and Garrus were right behind me.

"Welcome back, Commander." I heard every so often and nodded my thanks.

"Hello, Commander, what'll it be?"

"I'm really not that hungry, but... I'll take a wrap. And some calamari."

"Yes, Ma'am. Oh, and it's good to see you feeling better. Everyone's been on their best behaviour... mostly." He glanced toward Kaid who was playing cards with Jack, Miranda, and Tali. I couldn't help but smile as I plopped myself down into a vacant chair a table away from them. Kaid leaned towards me and blinked a couple times. "Soooo..." She started and I bit loudly into my wrap, glaring at her. "What do you want?"

"Come sit with us."

"No." I turned away as she gasped loudly. I was then met with surprise as she decided to migrate the whole group to my table. "SO! Cards? Yes?"

"I'm eating you slut." I turned my seat away from her and playfully put my nose in the air.

Kaid began whining loudly and tugged at my sleeve, "Oh, come on! Play with us! Play with us!" She swayed back and forth, still keeping a grip on the material. I sighed, very loudly and shoved the other half of my wrap in my mouth, chewing loudly and very unceremoniously as I avoided having to answer the woman-child. _ I wonder how long she'll sit there for... _She had placed her face in her hands and was leaning forward. Starting at me intently. "The way you chew is so sexy." I made loud nomming noises back at her and forced myself to swallow it before I choked on a giggle. "Would you let me finish eating first?" She frowned but shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, I guess I can let you eat. I mean, who needs food?" She exaggerated every word in loud obnoxious sarcasm as I slammed my head onto the table over and over. *bang, bang, bang*

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Thane looking at Kaid. "Let her eat." Kaid continued her loud raving and even challenged Thane. "Gardner, for the love of fucking would you PLEASE give this girl a margarita or a shot of ANYTHING to shut her up?" I heard him chuckle and reply with a 'Sure thing!' Kaid almost killed Jack as she pushed her way under the table and scrambled to the cook. By the time she had her two or... ten drinks and was on her way back over I had finished eating.

"Fine, I'll play-"

"YAY."

"... If you'll behave."

"Me? Misbehave? My good woman, I'm insulted."

I slammed my face onto the table again and she chuckled as she stacked cards onto the back of my skull, waiting for me to pick them up and have a game of poker with them. I hesitated and reached back, I knew Thane could see my cards but he had no interest in playing. He only wanted my company, and I was glad as I leaned against him a little.

The game went well, and I decided to call it a night. "Thane, would you come with me?" He nodded and had me lean against him for support until I heard screaming down the hall and loud giggling.

_I swear to fucking Gods..._

"You bitch! Get back here!"

"You can't catch me!" Kaid yelled loudly after the very upset Jack. She ran right past me, grabbing my side and almost dragging me to the ground as she hid behind me. Peering around at the convict.

"Move, Shepard." Jack was glowing, literally.

"What did she do?" Kaid gasped behind me.

"How dare you blame me, maybe it was her."

I saw Jack's eye twitch and I sighed. "Tell me what you did or I'll let her have her way with you." The convict smiled from ear to ear.

"You will not!"

"She stole 6000 credits from me!"

My jaw dropped open. "Kaid! 6000!? How?"

"I didn't do it!" She whined loudly. Thane had a grip on my left arm to help me stand.

"She cheated" Jack venemously spat as she threw the deck of cards at Kaid, spilling them all over the ground.

"Kaid, did you cheat?"

"No...?"

"Kaid."

"Yes, m'love?"

"Did. You. Cheat?"

"I like cake, does anyone want cake?" I could FEEL the brat smiling behind me. She was actually enjoying herself.

"Give it back." I commanded cooly and Kaid whined a little. I wasn't budging.

"But..."

"No." I extended my hand out and Kaid reluctantly handed it over, before letting me go and skipping down the hall "Bye bye!" She chimed happily as she disappeared around the corner. I handed Jack her money slowly and raised my hand defensively, motioning for her to go cool off.

I flopped onto my bed and sighed, grabbing the pillows and snuggling into their softness. Thane had followed behind me and laid himself down on the other half of the bed that I had missed so much while being bed ridden in the infirmory. I crawled beside him and put my head on his chest quietly. His heart was steady, and relaxing. Even though he tried to breathe normally it was obvious he was taking overly deep breaths to keep oxygen in his blood. I closed my eyes and started falling asleep before being woken up by him leaning down to wrap his arm around me protectively. Lowering his head he kissed my forehead and sighed, leaning back against the pillows. "I love you, Naida. Do you know that?" I nodded and smiled, "I do. I love you too, Thane." I snuggled closer to him, folding one of my legs partially over his. "I want to do this every night. Forever." I looked up at him, my face was turning red. "What...? What are you saying?"

He shifted slightly, pulling me and himself into a sitting position. "I'm saying, no... I'm asking... Will you be mine, Naida Shepard?" I felt dizzy, but in a good way. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would rip out of my chest and start dancing. "You silly Drell..." He tilted his head and I leaned up to kiss him passionately. "I already am yours. For as long as you want me, for as long as we have. I am yours. Every fiber in my being belongs to you. I always was." I could see tears slowly drip down his face. "I'm... I'm scared, Naida. I don't have much time left and I know it bothers you. I can see that it hurts you. I don't want you to be in pain because of me, and for the first time in a long time... I want to live." My own eyes started flowing and I hugged him, kissing his neck gently. "Thane, be alive with me tonight." He didn't need any prompting as he rolled on top of me, putting his arm under my back and gently pressing me down into the pillows. He made sure I wasn't putting too much pressure on my right side as he kissed me lovingly. There was no teasing, no force, he treated me like I was a flower; and I was beginning to feel like one.

I sighed in relief as he slowly stripped my clothes off of me, my heart pounded as I watched him peel away his own. He was magnificent. Every bit of him; the taught lean muscles that lined his body, the glint of his scales that barely reflected the light of my lamp, his long limbs... It was driving me crazy and I swallowed my nervousness as the tall creature climbed on top of me. He parted my legs gently and I tilted my head back; the moment his skin made contact with my own I began to feel like I was floating. Suddenly I wasn't on my bed anymore, I wasn't in my ship. I was in a sea of clouds. My back arched and a loud moan escaped my lips as he entered me, he was huge and perfect. The secretions in his skin sent waves of ecstacy through my body while I wrapped my arms instinctually around his neck. Everything was sensitive now, every sense brought to new heights. Our bodies pushed and pulled against each other in perfect unison. We floated higher now, the clouds were gone and I almost screamed as we reached our climax. His mouth covered mine as I trembled. "Oh wow..." I breathed, looking into his eyes. We hadn't said a word the entire time, there wasn't a need to.

He brushed my hair gently out of my face and pulled out of me, I groaned in displeasure as he did; Thane propped himself beside me with his face resting on one of his hands, his elbow holding up his head and part of his upper body. The other was trailing delicately down my chest and stomach as he breathed heavily. "You have no idea, how long I've been waiting to do that."

"Oh, I think I do." We both chuckled a little. He pulled the covers over us and pressed me into him with a thin layer of blankets between us to reduce contact with his skin. The last thing I remember of that night is falling asleep in my beautiful assassin's arms.


End file.
